Looking for a book…any book..well maybe not ANY book

I’m in a fiction lull right now. I’ve gotten so desparate I’m re-reading “And Eternity” by Piers Anthony *shudder*. I need some new fiction to tide me over until Harry Potter comes out in July.
Here’s the run down.
I’m a dedicated series reader, meaning I’ll stick with a series until it gets DUMB and then I give up. I’m also amenable to a single great book by an otherwise overlooked author. I can explain my taste in protagonists by saying that Holden Caufield leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth, so please no “Amber” or “Elric” or (gawd ‘elp us) Steven R. Donaldson. A little humor is great, a little (or perhaps a lot of) sex is great, 400 pages of angst is right out. (Picky, non?)

My favorite writers of books are listed below:
Terry Pratchett–current
Anne McCaffrey–current
Robert Asprin–gave up. Did he lose his brain after “MYTH Inc Link”?
Jean Auel–current (although Shelters of Stone was a struggle)
Lemony Snickett–current
J.K. Rowling–current
Douglas Adams–current *sniff*
J.R.R. Tolkien–current *ditto sniff*
Jane Austen–current
C.S. Lewis–Narnia current, can’t get through his Sci Fi
Neil Gaiman–current
Fritz Lieber–Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser more or less current

You can see my dilemma. Any suggestions out there?

BTW…Call me a snob, but after giving it a chance, I’ve decided that I’m not a big fan of liscenced fiction of the “Star Wars”, “Forgotten Realms” variety, sorry.

I know you can do it!